Since Christmas has now passed I thought it time to make my Boxing Day confession. I have always been deeply disturbed by the lyrics of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”.
I see 3 possible explanation of this song, none of them particularly pleasant, bearing in mind that it is clear from what is said that “Daddy” is not present:
1: That it isn’t Santa, but instead a secret lover of Mommy, who has snuck in using the disguise of Santa. If so, shame on them!
2: It is actually Santa. In which case, I have to ask myself what other devilish trickery is Santa up to? Are all the Mommy’s in the world safe? Shouldn’t he be busy delivering present?
3: That Santa is really Daddy in disguise. This is the safest option and only suggest that either Mommy or Daddy have some sort of Santa fetish going on, which I can quite understand, as I have always found Mrs Santa outfits rather appealing.
The problem is that it isn’t explained, and the no knowing has been playing with my mind for countless years. Surely I can’t be the only person bothered by this, can I?